The Legend of the Flaming Jello – Wrath of the Minotaur Session 2

Second session of the Wrath of the Minotaur, and the party are ready to finally enter the Tomb of Alaxus. Torches prepared and weapons in hand, they brave the deadly corridor of the wooden door, ready for adventure. Check the corridor – nothing special. Check the door – nothing special. I am sensing a pattern emerging…

With the corridor clear, it’s on to the next room. This is an antechamber, with a blue granite monument on a plinth marking the entrance to the tomb. Michifer decides the monument is evil, so attempts to destroy it with his mace, but barely scores enough damage to scratch it. So they check the various markings and make a decision where to go next – through the north door.

Yet another deadly corridor of the wooden door. Still, check the door and, nothing special. So they open the door, and see a room full of bones. Naturally, the characters enter, and up pops a Minotaur Skeleton. It’s a bit of a beastie, and it takes a few rounds to defeat, largely thanks to poor rolls by the fighters and Michifer the Cleric. It seems Roll20 might have a dry sense of irony, as the bad rolls seem to come after the characters try their hand at mightily epic one-liners before their swings. If there’s such thing as a look of bemusement on an expressionless, non-vocal, barely sentient, magically animated, bestial humanoid skeleton, I am pretty sure the creature would be giving it a go.

Finally, the skeleton collapses back into the bone pile, so the party decides to root around in the bones, because there might be treasure. So, guess what, as the party are busy looking, yet another Minotaur Skeleton arises, this time behind them, and the same routine begins. One-liners equal misses, and determined silence means solid blows. Not just any silence, mind you. Oh not, it has to be deliberate, according to Roll20…

Once the second skeleton drops, the party suspect that rooting through the bones for anything other than their thrown weaponry might be a bad idea, and opt to leave, closing not only the door to the room, but the door leading to the antechamber as well, once they make their way back through the deadly corridor of the wooden door.

Time to head south, and guess what? Another deadly corridor of the wooden door. I duly read out the descriptive text once again, and the party checks the door – nothing special. Is this getting routine? I certainly hope so, as we skip on to the next room…

Another room, like the last, full of bones. However, there’s a strange shimmering by the east wall. So this time, Thordar the Dwarf Fighter, who’s apparently VERY Scottish (yer bastad!) according to Ouro, steps forward to look at the shimmer, only to be attacked by a Gelatinous Cube, amongst the deadliest of desserts. Luckily, the attack misses the Dwarf, and combat begins properly.

Thaddeus has a bright idea – he’s going to light a flask of oil and throw it at the strange creature facing them. With that, suddenly the Gelatinous Cube is covered in oil and on fire. Of course, being a barely sentient Ooze, the creature doesn’t react to the flames, and is that little bit more deadly, but is slowly melting through the combat with a sickly sweet oily smell. Thordar takes a flaming slap to the face, but manages to resist the Gelatinous Cube’s paralysis, but is not so lucky with the burns to his skin, and his pride. Singed beard syndrome sets in, but not before Thaddeus finishes of the creature with a magic missile, causing it to melt into a pile of flaming goop on the floor.

Behind the creature’s flaming remains, a narrow passage heading east is revealed. Of course, between the highly combustable slime and the flask of oil, the fire is going to burn for a while. Do the party decide to put it out? Of course not – that would be too smart for them! Instead, they decide the best thing to do is show of their agility by trying to recover what treasure they can from the puddle of flames.

Thordar goes first, because Dwarves are known for their agility, and he promptly falls over face first into the flaming slime. Luckily, what remains of his facial hair doesn’t catch fire, but he still takes a point of fire damage, and an indescribable amount of dignity loss.

Elanna decides to give it a go. After all, she’s highly agile, even if she’s only a fighter, that’s got to put her in a good position for such a stunt, right? Wrong! Roll20 brings a natural one, to demonstrate that prideth does indeed cometh before a fall, as Elanna trips over a slimy Thordar, goes arse over tit, as the saying goes, and also faceplants herself in the flaming goop. Worse, she fails to prevent her hair catching fire. That’s going to leave a mark, if only on what remains of her dignity.

I have to take pity of the party as we are all in stitches at this dignity TPK – we haven’t laughed this much since Dent got green slimed back in Zanzer’s Dungeon. So, as Elanna puts her flaming hair out, I let Thordar finally recover the treasure, and then the party retreats back to the antechamber to rest up ready for next session. What did they get? In the end, it was 20 gold coins, a jewelled dagger, and a vial that they suspect is a potion of healing. Shame it’s not a potion of restore dignity…

Meanwhile, let’s hope that these shenanigans haven’t alerted any denizens in the dungeon. There’s rumours of kobolds nearby, and they would most definitely have seen the flaming jello in the dark… (Hint: It totally did, so looks like the party might be in for a few rough encounters in the near future!)

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Da' Vane

I am the designer and writer behind the D-Jumpers.com website.